a courageous life

The problem with our faith today, is we purposely choose to avoid living a courageous life.  We would rather not see God move and live in comfort, than give way to discomfort and see God move in radical ways.  We want miracles, but we refuse to position ourselves to be recipients of them.  As we started our church plant I was most excited to see God provide for us in crazy ways.  I’ve always worked hard for my money, and I’ve left little room to see God really provide in miraculous ways.  My solution to not paying the bills is to get a second or third job.

As a church planter, adding jobs to our daily routine was just not an option.  As we headed out to accomplish our God-sized dream, my husband asked me what I was looking forward to the most – honestly, the miracles, I told him.  I couldn’t wait to see God move in others lives as well as my own.  One area where we needed God to move was our finances.  We needed Him to provide in radical ways.  But the way I live my life is to pick up another job or to swipe my credit card.  I wasn’t about to give up certain luxuries; that is until God spoke to me.   I was never going to see God’s miracles, because I had so many false securities in my life.  Plastic and the job market would rescue me like they always have.  But I knew I wanted more.  I wanted to live a courageous life and see God provide for me in ways I’ve never dreamt or imagined.  So I did the unthinkable… I cut up my cards and CLOSED the accounts.  I refused myself the joys of entertaining getting a second job.  And because I was adamant about stepping out in faith, I put everything on the line.  I truly depended on God.

We have too many security blankets in our lives.  We don’t need God to provide, because we have VISA.  We don’t need God to give us joy, because we have entertainment.  We don’t need God to give us peace, because we find peace in other things.  But I believe that God is calling us to live courageously – to put everything on the line.  I believe that we are called to work hard and not be foolish.  Some of us need to get a second job.  But sometimes we replace Church, our walk with Jesus and our families for that second job.  I believe God wants us to serve Him by living courageously.  We are called to trust God in times of need, not get into more debt.  We are called to surrender our fears and let Him bail us out.  This isn’t easy and the fruit seems minimal at first, but as we do this, I believe that God is going to reveal Himself to us in radical ways.

finally here

Sometimes I think God works in mysterious ways just to remind us that we don’t have Him figured out.  Our move to Boulder has been mysterious indeed, and each day God unfolds a little bit more of God’s grace and goodness.  But I’m learning that it’s not just good because He can does things for us, but it’s good because of who He is.  I don’t expect anything to work out the way I want anymore, but instead I just hold my hands up in surrender and trust implicitly in God’s goodness.

When Ben and I decided to move to Boulder we thought God would open radical doors to confirm His will.  Instead, doors shut.  One door after another slammed in our faces.  We couldn’t find a place to live.  Ben couldn’t find a job.  Our insurance had run out, and to make matters worse, I was in the middle of my third pregnancy.  The worries began to pile on as each door closed not only made me question our calling, but made me face the reality that we were about to be very poor, jobless, homeless and adding a new child into this mess.  The week before we were supposed to leave, and Ben’s last week at the Church, we received a phone call – Ben got a job and he was going to be starting June 6th.  One prayer answered, but still, no home.  The last day on Ben’s job at the Church, he preached on the cost of following Christ.  It was an easy message for him, because it came directly from his own experience over the past month.  He was preaching on the fires of tribulation and his clothes were still on fire from what we were going through.  At the close of the message a woman approached him and asked him where we were going to live… ummm- we don’t know.  All we knew was that we had felt God calling us to Boulder in June and that Ben had a job lined up.  Then she handed us the keys to her place – it was vacant for two months and it was in central Boulder.  We got to live there rent-free for two months.

God has taught me that His path is not always easy, but He travels it with us.  A week later, I was given a job where I would be able to work from home.  We are planting a Church, and we are going to have to work harder than we have ever worked in our lives.  And yet, here we are, in Boulder.  While I was busy looking for homes and driving to Boulder twice a week to search out places, God was lining up a place for us, rent-free.  While I was busy filling out applications for Ben, God had a job in place – no application needed.  I have learned to not try to force things.  I do my part and I sit back and let God direct my steps, after all, I have said all my life, that I am traveling on the narrow path.  Well, if this is true, then I guess I better be willing to accept God’s path for my life instead of my own.

I still ache to see our Church start.  I long to meet people and get to be a witness.  And I desperately desire for God to give me boldness and Divine encounters!  This is what I desperately desire more than anything.  This is why I left my family and comfort.  This is why we came to Boulder.